the choice is yours

Action films have always been my favorite, especially those of the superhero type. Superman is definitely at the top of the list. But I think my next favorite is the Silver Surfer form the Fantastic Four. Yeah, sure he starts the film out as a really bad dude, but toward the end of the film he sacrifices his life for a world he never knew. The moral being taught in the film was that people have a choice to be bad or good. Most of us will chose to be bad and good at some point in our life, depending on the circumstances. However, I think what matters, is at what point in our life do we chose to do right and wrong. Kids are amazing, but often times they will chose the bad. It is kind of expected due to their immaturity. Their thoughts are of themselves – it is a very natural response to having all their needs taken care of by their parents. But as they get older (depending on the extremity of their home environment) they start to make better choices – what I would call making the right decision. Once they enter adulthood they are perfecting the process of thinking of other people before themselves. But there are those kids that are not taken care of as infants. They have a harder time differentiating good from bad, right from wrong. They are in self preservation mode through their teenage to adult years. Many of the decisions they make are due to being hurt by others and in turn their decisions hurt others. This is where the silver Surfer found himself. A cosmic force hurt his planet and held someone he loved for ransom. Because of this, the Silver Surfer spent many years pulverizing other planets so the cosmic force could gain power. Though the Silver Surfer was killing other beings (billions of them) he felt he had no choice if he was to see his loved one again. Some may think of this as a heroic act on his part. But I saw it as one who reverted to self preservation mode. His thoughts of all the beings he would kill did not out-weigh his desire to not live alone for the greater good. In fact he did not see it this way. He only saw his need which was directly related to the safety of his loved one. As the Silver surfer comes into contact with humans he starts to learn about sacrifice for the greater good, for this is what he saw. The team of the fantastic four, thought they had struggles they focus was to save a life that they knew was trying to kill them. Yes, it is a story, for how many of us would really help the enemy. Fortunately, they loosely exhibited the better aspects of human nature – compassion for the enemy. In the end the Silver Surfer realizes he is in control of what he does, whether is for good or bad. He gave up his life to destroy the “destroyer”, for the sake of saving all human existence at the loss of his own. The moral to my little blog: no matter what pressure is applied to your life, you always have the choice to do bad or good. Hopefully it is the later. Signing off…Kodiak.

Time...is it running out?

Well, the summer semester is coming to a close and though I am relieved to have more time to work…to build up the monetary resources…I am a little sad to move on. I cannot say that my classes have been the easiest, but I think that is why I am sad to complete them. I love the challenge of learning something new and trying to implement what I have learned in my life. Take my writing class for example. My initial response to the writing 102 class was, “oh great, how do I get through this one.” But as time went on and the challenges were put before me, I found that I really wanted to succeed in completing a really informative paper. No, it is not easy for me to write…anything. It always takes me so much time to get my thoughts together. My head works better in the clouds.:) However, it is a pretty cool feeling to write a paper and get a good grade on it. But more than that it is a great feeling to make a solid point and be understood. I spent some time this last week trying to contemplate why I was so intimidated to write and I came to the conclusion – the same conclusion that I come to in other aspects of my life – I am in a hurry to make time. I am in such a hurry of trying to make time by saving time that I don’t enjy time when I use it. I know, that’s kind of circular. I guess what I am trying to say is that I need to appreciate every project and every time that I spend on them, from the smallest to the biggest projects. Like Chemistry. When I started school I thought Physics would do it for me – it was a huge challenge for me to learn the theories behind everything that I was interested in but everything that I couldn’t explain. I figured learning this stuff would make me smarter…like an all-around MacGyver (I love the show – yes I am old). After a couple years of Physics I have grown to really love science more than I ever did when I was a kid. This has driven me to expand my field of study with an additional major, Chemistry. As intimidating as it is to try a double major, I am convinced that I have made the right decision no matter how much time it will take. Chemistry and Physics are very compatible with the field of research I am interested in – aerospace. I think it will take me many years to really understand how to apply the knowledge I am gaining at college. But through this experience I am discovering myself…what I am made of and why I am made that way. If I had any positive advice for anyone who reads this blog, I would encourage you to think. Think of what drives your interests, study those interest, no matter how much time it takes, and savor those tasks which are difficult. It is through the challenge that you grow in mind and body to be of benefit to the world.

Good bye, NASA???

I don’t always like to share my opinion…it usually gets me into trouble or into an argument, which I despise even more than sharing my opinion. But I have been really bothered by the direction that the US is going in, from an exploration point of view. You see, that is the whole point. I think we are losing our point of view. I will agree that we are going through a financial low but I am not too convinced that we are dealing with it the best way. NASA, ever since I can remember, has been an icon of strength and determination. They are the reason that I made some of the decision I did: Flying, Engineering, Physics…I want to know because of the excitement of exploration that I learned from my interaction with NASA as a child. No, I had never visited any of their facilities, until recently, but my mind was made up after I saw an old film called space camp. Though the plot was a gross exaggeration, the excitement of launching a team of astronauts into space was very real. Sadly enough, I could have never predicted the end of NASA at that age. Actually, I had never figured that we would stop wanting to explore our universe. I always figured that with NASA’s drive we, the US, would always be the leaders in exploration. From where I stand now, the future for exploration looks pretty dim and I feel I am losing heart. It’s not that there isn’t anything to learn on this earth – there definitely is. But I believe it is essential for us to look ahead and look up for life to prevail. For example, I just found an article written by Sasjkia Otto saying that space exploration was instrumental in implementing approximate 6300 inventions into common day uses, like cordless power tools and invisible braces. Even the most aerodynamic swimsuit material was initially invented to aid in the aerodynamics of the astronauts’ suits. That’s pretty neat! To learn more about these inventions go to this website: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/5893387/Apollo-11-moon-landing-top-15-Nasa-inventions.html ).
You see, cutting down NASA is like changing our flag. We are becoming unrecognizable – of course there are many other political under-currents that are defacing the US, but that is an entirely different expose of itself. I digress. I know I am making it seem like the world is coming to an end as I believe one day it will, though hopefully not today. And I am sure it must sound like I think we are not going back into space but that is not what I am saying…I just think, we are taking quite a few steps backward and it is going to hurt us. Without NASA our children will start to lose the vision. Or maybe it is we who will lose the vision and our kids will never have been born with one. Perhaps I should stop sharing my opinion and after a while has past I will forget all about NASA. OR maybe not…

"There be whales, Captain..."

I have a sister who is going into Marine Biology this next year after finishing her cores at MSSU, so it is no wonder that for the past few months I have heard one whale story after another. Today was no exception. The story was about a whale named Luna. No this I not a female whale, as you might think due to the name. He is a seven-year-old male orca, orphaned. The circumstances of his being orphaned are a little bizarre. He was born around the San Juan Islands up in the Northwest. During a massive storm, or so it was said, he ended up getting separated from his pod and traveled farther up north into Canadian waters. Within a year, another young orca named Springer, found her way down into the Puget Sound. It was eventually learned that Springer was a Canadian orca. I was think, “that’s weird, one of ours for one of theirs”. Well coming from one who has grown up in the Northwest, I assure you that, since the late 70’s, we have learned to respect these magnificent creatures. So when my sister had told me that the people of the Northwest had made it a priority to return Springer to her natural Canadian waters, I was not surprised. I was, however, surprised to her that many Canadian’s did not share our enthusiasm for reuniting the two orcas back into their families. And so, as Springer made her way back to her home, Luna did not. The Canadians refused to allow the people of Northwest to interfere with Luna. As Luna traveled within the confines of the Nootka Sound he made friends with most of the fishing vessels. The age of an orca is very similar to that of a human. So in my mind I am picturing a small boy of seven…lost. It, kind of, tears at my heart. Orcas are also very communal and need interaction with something living. They are affectionate in a wild way. So it is no wonder to me that he gravitated toward anything would be his friend. Unfortunately, not all of the fishermen wanted him around. He was too friendly and gravitated to people which caused a few incidents with this orca and the public. Not to mention that he ate fish that made up the livelihood of the fishing industry. My opinion, he is one whale – how much could he really take away from the fishermen? Not much. They just considered him more of a nuisance. Well, while the Canadian government refused to get involved with the orca’s rescue there were a group of activist (stewards) that pretty much babysat him for many years. They formed a bond with him that they hoped would be his rescue. Their intent was to coax him out of the sound and into the open ocean where they would hope to lead back down the coast and close to his family pod. One sound of his family’s calling and he would find his way home. It was quite a big deal. The other plan that was in operation was to get enough funds to airlift him back to the Puget Sound. In 2006, the money started to roll in after a husband and wife team did a documentary on Luna’s crisis. Even the Canadian Government had given their sanction to allow the US to take the whale home. Tragically, Luna never got a chance to swim the open waters. In March of 2006, a large fishing vessel had gotten Luna’s attention with antics and horse play. And just as any 7 year-old would be attracted to this, Luna swam over to the vessel while the fishermen coaxed on. Whether he was lured purposefully or not is up to debate, but what happened next was not an accident. The Captain threw his propellers into reverse and ran right over Luna, senselessly killing him. Does this outrage you…it did me. I can’t say that my sister has many happy stories about our human interaction with these orcas. That is really sad. I have never been a tree hugger, an eco-friend or a save-the-whales human…but my heart tells me that maybe I should be.

The passion flower

I am a fairly technically-minded individual. I don't think I come by it naturally and am not sure at what point it became my strength. But, I am glad to enjoy the way I see things. I think most feel that way about themselves which is why most of us accept a certain belief system - the one we like to think about. I know this is a type of circular reasoning. However, I didn't start out my blog this way to discuss philosophy. I wanted to open up a little of my world to you. It's a bit of a dichotomy and this is why. As I said before, I am fairly analytical but my passion is growing flowers. Is that weird? I mean, just about everything I think about and challenge myself with has something to do with Technology. Physics, Chemistry, Math: I love them all and get excited about using what I learn. But it's doesn't fill me with the peace I get when planting a new clipping of some strange flower or watering the roses and trees. What is confusing to me is, if I love botany so much why can I not see myself employed in that field. I see myself as a physicist and think, “yup, that’s about right.” But I’m perplexed about how I feel when I am around plants. When I go to the book store, the first books I will are in the latest aircraft or boat design genera I glance through them pretty quickly absorbing mostly pictures. Then, I will move to the science genera hoping to find some astronomy or physics curriculum to study. But the most time that I afford at the book store has to do with horticulture or outdoor landscaping/construction. These are the books that I eventually adopt. This one that I found a few months back is my pride and joy. It is Missouri: Gardener’s Guide, by Mike Miller. Man! I really love this book. It has helped me to pick for my garden the hardier plants that will grow well in Missouri. The description of each plant, tree or grass is thorough, even describing some history of where the plan originated. Since buying this book, I have planted three clippings of lonicera periclymenum (the scarlet trumpet honeysuckle), phlox subulata (creeping phlox), six 5-inch high maple trees (they grow fast), Juniper bushes, Box Wood, Fortune’s Hostas, four floribunda roses, two lilac trees, lots of thuja occidentalis (globe arborvita) and various other flowering annuals that will need to be up-rooted and put indoors during the freeze. I actually have my own substantial garden for the first time and I am loving it. I picked up the book today to find a flower that I have seen at work during one of my walks around the grounds. To my astonishment, on the very first page that opened, was a beautiful picture of the flower that I had spotted on the side of the road today. What was amazing about this flower is it looked perfect and intricate, like nothing I have ever seen before. It was mostly purple with some white petals behind the main array, kind of looking like a sea anemone. Can you hazard a guess as to the name of this flower? It is Passiflora incarnate, also known as the passion flower. I will remember to bring my spade to work next time I am there.

Random Thoughts For 500

Work was unusually stressful, today. One of my fellow coworkers had had enough of the politics and quit. It was very unexpected to everyone, I think. He was a good technician. However, this is the third person to have quit in about one week. I find it interesting that they all worked in the same department...the same department I work in. Huh, (thinking to myself)...that is not a good sign. Needless to say (is it really needless?), I left work with a kind of surreal feeling...and kind of sad. It reminded me of my last job, the only job I have been fired from. Can you imagine? Me...fired! I have been in the industry for 18 years - wow, it has been that long? - and never, until about 5 years ago, have I ever been fired. I have been laid off once, but that is very different than getting fired. In my defense, however, I did not deserve to be fired. Would you like to hear my side of the story? So here it is (the scene opens up to a sweltering summer day, some time five years ago):

I am mechanic working in hangar about 50 minutes from home. I love my job - I get to work with a lot of airplanes. But my first love is flying them. I am a pilot and have been one longer than I have been a mechanic. My goal is to fly over seas as a covert missionary pilot. –Sound exciting? I think so, too. The only problem is, I have been in an auto accident and am recovering from surgery (I was not even driving). I have not been able to fly for about 3 1/2 months. Man! I really need to get back in the air. But what luck! I have been back to work for almost two week and am starting to get back into my groove, except for finishing up a couple of therapy visits. Unfortunately, during my absence, three very important people quit, all flight instructors, one being the Chief. So one mechanic, who is also a pilot, gets his lucky break and he moves up in the world of flight instructors. Good for him; bad for me. My supervisor has always had a soft spot for my flight educations. In fact, he is the one who hired me right after I came back from a mission trip to Africa. The understanding we have is that I am first a student commercial pilot, then a mechanic. It has been this way for the two years that have paid for instruction from the company. He keeps his eye out for any instructors who can teach me missionary flight which is very different than commercial flight. Today he calls me into his office and gives me the number of a retired missionary pilot with a C-185. I’m thinking, "Man! This is awesome! ". We sit down and talk about the times I can be available for instruction. Since the airport I will be flying at is not where I work, we settle on my flying in the early morning and working after 10 am, 2 days a week. Well, you can probably see what is going to happen. My Supervisor is afraid of my boss…much to my embarassment, so am I. My boss is a tough old goat…and not very nice. I think after having three employees’s quit he cracked. So, as the day progresses, I am elbow-deep in a Continental-450 engine with grease and solvent all over me. My boss walks up to me and says he wants to see me in my supervisor’s office, now. How comfy…it’s a small office. For the next 30 minutes my boss rails me about the times I want to fly and says something nasty like I’m not a serious mechanic…or some such nonsense like that. I don’t see him holding the FAA certificate with more than 1900 logged hours of just training, 3 written exams, 3 oral exams and 3 practical exams. The whole while, my supervisor never once defends me and never admits that he had given me permission to fly (not to mention, it was his idea). He is afraid. As is my boss’s way he tries to use derision to manipulate the circumstance to his favor. But, I know his game, and I am not interested in playing anymore…nor will I sit silent any longer while he insults me. I simple know…this is it! I breathe in slowly and say with resolve I knew not where it came, “What is it going to be, are you firing me or do I quit?”

Back to the present: I find it very old – yes, surreal- that today I ran into my old boss at Lowe’s. I haven’t seen him for almost 5 years now. I pretend that I have not been thinking about him today, but in reality I have, due the stress at my current job. I shake his hand (I initiated) and ask him how he is doing. He asks me the same and I respond with a few light hearted sentences. We say our good-byes, all the while the awkwardness was obvious…at least to me.

K=[2F-F^2]...figure that one.

So...I made it though the second week of school without any scrapes and bruises...or so I thought. Then I realized I had a blog spot to maintain. Great! it is already 12:21pm and I have not had more than 5 hours sleep per night for the past five days. Man I am so tired! On top of that, my boss wants everyone to put in over-time, though he skipped out on work today. Figure that? Well, that's just the way it is. I'll get over it. I guess I should talk about something useful (not necessarily interesting to you). How about braid. Yes...I mean braid...nickel-coated, copper braid to be exact. I spent the entire day at work trying to solve a problem with this nickel-coated braid. The exact problem? Well...I can't tell you that. It would possibly infringe on some ITAR rule and blow my cover. But, what I can tell you is that I can change a 48-carrier (spools, spring and all) in under 1 hour and 15 minutes. Most people take 2 hours. Imagine!